Bruised Billy!

Billy Joe shows up at the doctor's
office at 2:00 p.m. one Sunday
afternoon with several bruises on
his face.
The doctor says, "Another
barroom brawl, eh Billy Joe?"
"No!" answers Billy Joe. "This
happened in church!"
"In church? What happened?"
asks the doctor.
Billy Joe says, "Well, I went to
church and sat in the pew(church
benches with a back). Then a real
big fat woman sits in the pew in
front of me. We get up to sing,
and I see that her dress is stuck
up the crack of her butt, so I
pulled it out for her. Then she
whopped me with her purse."
The doctor treats his wounds and
warns him not to do that again.
A week later, on Sunday
afternoon, Billy Joe is back at the
doctor's office, bruised worse
than before. The doctor said,
"Now this must have come from
your friends at the bar, right Billy
Joe?"
Billy Joe looks sadly into the
doctor's eyes and cries, "No! No!
This happened in church again!"
Extremely puzzled, the doctor asks
for the explanation.
Billy Joe says, "I went to church
and sat in the pew. My friend John
comes in and sits down next to
me. Then comes this same big fat
woman again, and she sits in the
pew in front of us. We get up to
sing, and her dress is stuck up the
back of her butt again."
The doctor says, "Oh no, Billy. You
didn't pull it out again! Didn't you
learn your lesson last week?"
"No, no, Doc, I didn't pull it out,"
replies Billy Joe. "John Bob did.
And knowing how much she
doesn't like that, I tried to push it
back in for her!"